


Understand That Maybe

by GemGlass



Category: INFINITE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Humour, M/M, Woohyun POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25457431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemGlass/pseuds/GemGlass
Summary: Sungkyu learns of an unwelcome truth.
Relationships: Jang Dongwoo/Kim Sunggyu, Lee Sungyeol/Nam Woohyun, past!Jang Dongwoo/Nam Woohyun
Comments: 11
Kudos: 14





	Understand That Maybe

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Act 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534520) by [streimel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/streimel/pseuds/streimel). 



> Um. So this is very random but I read the series linked as the inspiration for this and this plot point was never covered and I really, really wanted to write some Infinite fic for the fandom and I had an idea so... here it is. (Also heavily procrastinating)
> 
> You don’t have to have read the original trilogy to read this, I tried my best to fill in the details set up there but I may have fudged some up (sorry). You should read it anyway though because it’s fantastic. 
> 
> I hope the 5 people still active in this fandom here enjoy this lol. I’m really happy with how this turned out either way. (PS, it’s Sungkyu right? Or is it interchangeable with Sunggyu?)

It’s been sweet. It really has. More than that, these last few months, it’s been truly wonderful. Woohyun is with the man of his dreams, a title which he’d never speak to the man himself for fear of eternal mockery (and happenstance of that Sungyeol also got to be with the man of _his_ dreams, so really, he’d be one to talk).

His best friend also got over all his angst, and at last hooked up (read: fell disgustingly in love) with Woohyun’s other best friend. Myungsoo’s glare no longer penetrated through his bones, instead stopped after a few layers of skin. Thereby, the tension in the group had finally ceased, rooms no longer grew so awkward it was a struggle to breathe right, and honestly? The dorm smells nicer, too.

But unfortunately, as every day the sun must set, and every good book has a final page—his time on this earth is officially over. It’s a real shame it couldn’t last. His mother will be devastated; he considers calling her to say a vague goodbye. Sungyeol will try to defend him, forever loyal even if he’ll call Woohyun stupid. And he is, oh is he stupid. But to be fair, Dongwoo is right there with him. Dongwoo will try and defend him too, which is going to make everything a million times worse, so whilst Woohyun will appreciate the thought he’d rather he just stayed out of the room.

It isn’t fair. Maybe it had been a bit much and presumptuous to expect mostly smooth sailing after the utter mess everything was, but he’d really thought for a good while there that they’d all made it. Somehow intact.

He hopes Sungyeol won’t blame himself. At least not for too long. A little guilt is probably appropriate considering he’d been the one to let slip. Granted, he didn’t know that it was a technically a secret, (because it wasn’t. Secret implies him and Dongwoo had been trying to hide it from Sungkyu, and even the mere thought of that makes him feel gross. They’d just forgotten, okay? Yes, that made them both fools, morons, even bastards—but there’d been no malice. It really did feel like there was nothing to tell, since it meant something so... irrelevant, in a way, to them both. It felt like it had ended years and years ago, rather than a couple of months. And Woohyun had kinda assumed, distantly, that Dongwoo had told Sungkyu something and understandably he didn’t want to talk about to Woohyun. Apparently not.) by definition only, but it is undeniably just as much his mess as it is Dongwoo’s, in slightly different ways.

He’ll miss his cat, he thinks, glaring at Sungyeol but also looking at him for sympathy. He’d just had to make the most inappropriate fucking joke in the world hadn’t he? Woohyun has laughed, at first. For a moment. Until he saw Dongwoo’s pale face, and how Sungkyu had gone so unbelievably still. That was when he’d hit Sungyeol’s thigh to stop him laughing and started counting the fire exits.

He’s said nothing for approximately thirty seconds now. It’s not promising, they’re in a restaurant, even if the table is in its own private room, any commotion would be a nightmare. Why did the other members have to leave? Sungyeol wouldn’t have made the joke otherwise. They’d all come out for a quick meal, but the other three had had to leave to prepare for individual schedules.

It’d been Sungkyu who suggested they stay longer, order a few drinks and relax since their tour had just ended. What a nice idea, Woohyun had thought, and what an idiot he was for it. Woohyun had barely gotten halfway through his beer and soju self-mixed drink when his boyfriend opened his mouth and made a lame joke about a love square and the worlds weirdest double date and something deeply inappropriate about Dongwoo and Woohyun’s sundae sausage.

Sungkyu’s face is angled down, so he can’t make eye contact. He wants to run so badly, grab Sungyeol and kiss him one last time before it’s all over. He can’t look away from Sungkyu, even though the last thing he wants to do is see the raw betrayal in his eyes, he needs to know he’s okay even if only barely.

It sounds so bad, is the thing. What Sungkyu’s likely thinking based on the little information he got from Sungyeol’s joke. That Dongwoo and Woohyun had been sleeping together. Like, really intense and hot sex. Not as dismissible as the occasional drunken fumble, or sad lonely-hearts-club blowjob exchanges. Though it was still kinda a lonely-hearts-club, it wasn’t always. Woohyun isn’t going to lie and pretend that every time they fucked Sungyeol was on mind, because it isn’t true. He’d wanted Dongwoo in that way, only as a body but him nonetheless. It was sex; meaningless but passionate. And that’s the death knell; how heated he knows Sungkyu knows it was. How long it went on.

If they had just sat Sungkyu down at some point and explained themselves, or Dongwoo had done so himself and Sungkyu could have asked Woohyun whatever he needed clarifying, if anything, later. They could both explain how little it meant, how it was a way to find comfort in a convenient (that’s a better word, don’t mention anything to do with passion for the love of god) body when they both felt so alone it hurt. Dongwoo especially could’ve appealed to Sungkyu’s ego—how Woohyun (maybe not say his name directly, since that’s the main issue) was only someone he used to cope with how much he loved Sungkyu and thought he’d never have him, how Dongwoo thought he was ruining things by loving him. 

It’s good to think about. A comfort. If it worked out there, maybe here is salvageable.

But then he’s back in this chair and Sungkyu has been silent for sixty seconds now and breathing in feels like he’s inhaling steam.

“How long?”

“Sungkyu—”

“How fucking long have you been laughing at me behind my back?”

Woohyun wants to protest, remind him that Dongwoo and he had no idea how Sungkyu felt. (That he’d been miserable, heartbroken, all the cliches. Meanwhile, Sungkyu knew how Dongwoo felt and I intentionally or not made him hate himself for it.) Only sought the touch of another to ease the sting of rejection; expressed (Sungyeol) or implied (Sungkyu). But he keeps silent, letting him get his anger out first. Reason can come later.

It’s Dongwoo who says it. “On and off for years.”

Sungkyu laughs, an ugly, bitter thing. He stands up, downs the last inch of his drink like he wishes it was stronger, and walks out the door without a second glance.

Finally, Woohyun looks at Sungyeol, who looks somewhat confused and also very very contrite. Dongwoo just looks small, and all the protectiveness he’d had towards him when he thought Sungkyu was mistreating him comes back in a single, dense wave.

Woohyun squeezes Sungyeol’s thigh and starts putting his jacket back on. He leans over the table and clasps Dongwoo’s shoulder. “I’ll go after him. Let him vent what he needs to. Before he can say something he can’t take back to you.” Because Sungkyu could be cruel like that, lash out to try and protect his own feelings.

Dongwoo doesn’t say anything, eyes trained on the table. He nods eventually. He looks at Sungyeol to confirm that he’ll comfort Dongwoo, and he just nods without Woohyun saying a word. He ruffles his hair on the way past, unable to resist he also briefly touches the side of his face. He’d say something about how this might be the late time they see each other, not even as a complete joke, but he doubts Dongwoo will appreciate it and so takes his leave without any follow up.

It’s not hard to spot him. His hair is dyed light brown, and besides that the street isn’t too busy and he’s wearing a dark teal coat. They didn’t have much to drink, but Woohyun is surprised to see him heading to Dongwoo’s car. Most of them had just walked to the restaurant, except Sungkyu and Dongwoo who’d been further away.

He hasn’t noticed Woohyun following him yet. He keeps his pace a little bit slower than Sungkyu’s and tries to hide behind other people without looking like a creep when Sungkyu suddenly turns around. At the car park, he pulls out the key and the lights of Dongwoo’s car flash. He gets in, hands on the steering wheel.

Woohyun approaches the car from the other side. He sees the tenseness of Sungkyu’s body and even though he didn’t really do anything wrong, he feels like like the lowest form of life in that moment. The guilt is clawing, heavy on his skin. It’s so stupid, but he really didn’t give any thought to how his and Dongwoo’s ‘relationship’ could be perceived. It’s how things got so fucked up with Sungyeol for a while there, he didn’t realise the need to explain that there was only friendship between them, that when they hooked up Dongwoo and he were only using each other. It just seemed obvious.

If he’d at all thought Sungkyu loved Dongwoo back, he never would have experimented with Dongwoo. He’d been young and confused, no one ever thought to tell him that desiring the hard cut of a mans body didn’t make him weird. And when Dongwoo had been up for it, well it would be an understatement to say he’d been excited. The risks were insane, but they never let it impact the group or their friendship. Then later, when he hurt the person he loved most... it had been a comfort.

He opens the car door and sits in the passenger seat. Sungkyu jumps at the sound, but doesn’t look his way.

“Fuck you,” he starts. “You’re the last person I want to see right now, you know.”

“I know.”

He presses his head against the steering wheel. “I feel sick.”

“I’m sorry,” Woohyun says, because he is. Not that it happened (he can’t be, they had needed each other to keep themselves from falling apart) but that it’s hurting him now. That it hurt Sungyeol once, too.

Sungkyu squeezes his eyes shut. Woohyun knows he’s trying not to cry. He wants to hug him, awkward as it would be at this angle. Wisely, he refrains.

“I didn’t know, Sungkyu. You never told me how you felt.”

“You never told me about Sungyeol,” he accuses right back.

“Yes,” is all he can say. They’ve had a version of this conversation before, right when Dongwoo and Sungkyu finally stopped dancing around each other and Woohyun came to see they were actually happy. He’s distracting from the issue.

“So—you two were...?” He manages after a lull, voice tight.

“Not together, if that’s what you mean. It only really happened abroad.”

He scoffs. “All those times. When you shared hotel rooms.”

“Not always, but a lot. Yeah.”

“I’m such an idiot.”

“What you said at the restaurant. It wasn’t like that, you know that, right? It was just a casual thing. Neither of us were trying to hurt anyone, it was just,” Woohyun shrugs, unable to find the words he thinks will be gentlest. There’s no escaping the simple fact of what happened. “It was just using one another. We didn’t even speak when.” He doesn't cut himself off, he just stops. Sungkyu thinks he wants details when verily he doesn’t.

Sungkyu eyes are still closed. He drops his head from the wheel and into his own hands. “I’m an idiot,” he repeats.

Woohyun lets the silence hang. The overcast sky finally stops threatening rain and goes through with it, light drops beginning to decorate the windows.

“I always thought that if it happened it would be me and Dongwoo, you know? But the two of you.”

He winces. “Sorry.” There’s no need for Woohyun to highlight Sungkyu’s own misgivings, (keeping Dongwoo at arms length, conversations artificial outside of Infinite) certain he’s all too aware right now.

“It’s not your fault.

Woohyun looks at him in surprise. “It’s okay if you’re mad at me. It still sucks.”

He kind of wants him to be mad, petty even—instead of this dour atmosphere. They’ve both said plenty of stupid shit to each other before, crossed hard-drawn lines after a bad practice on a hot day. It’s different than it was with Sungyeol. Seeing him so unconfident telling him Dongwoo was his first was unbearable, even thinking of his appearance that day sends a pin through his heart. But he didn’t feel like he betrayed him, not like he does with Sungkyu.

He knows he didn’t. Again, it still sucks.

Sungkyu shakes his head. “No. My priority is singing. Back then especially I had an imprudent view of how that meant I had to behave. I thought we were all on the same page, all sacrificing so much. But I guess I thought I needed to cut out every part of me that was a threat to the band. I was mad at Dongwoo for staying so open, even if he thought he wasn’t—but I was just jealous. I am jealous.”

Woohyun thinks he understands what he means. Sungkyu thought he was being so virtuous. Making all these sacrifices, keeping all these promises to himself. Nothing in this world is free, and Sungkyu had forbidden himself from having what he wanted for a long, long time in order to live his dream as a singer. Wasted time, now. And all the while, as he kept his hands close to his chest and offered Dongwoo the most clinical of affections—Woohyun, his closest friend, had been there. With Dongwoo. Indulging in the man Sungkyu wanted so badly and denied himself for what he intended to be forever. Not once, not twice: but to the point where when it finished, even though they weren’t together for real and there were no romantic feelings between them, they’d needed to spell out the end.

“Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t _you_?”

Woohyun shrugs helplessly, knowing there’s no satisfactory answer. “Honestly? I think he forgot. I assumed you already knew, but I really didn’t think about it,” Woohyun pauses. He doesn’t know if it’s helpful to say the rest. “It didn’t feel important. And I’m not saying you didn’t deserve to know—you totally did—I’m only trying to say we didn’t mean anything to each other—uh, in _that_ way,” he finishes lamely.

He really wants for Sungkyu to have some sort of expression on his face. Maybe he should’ve let Dongwoo come after him instead. The rain picks up, and Woohyun is thankful he grabbed his jacket before leaving the restaurant.

Sungkyu at last turns to face him. It may be wishful thinking on Woohyun’s part but he thinks the tension in his jaw is looser now, the crease in his brow gentler. “Okay. Okay.”

“Okay like, okay?”

“No, not okay _okay_. Just O-K.”

He mouths ‘O-K’ back to him. Woohyun then nods, casting his gaze to the grey cloud overhanging the city. He taps his fingers in the glove box. “Don’t be too hard on him,” Woohyun dares ask.

Sungkyu narrows his eyes slightly, lips downturning again. Slowly, he too nods.

“Do you... love him?” He wants to cram the question back into his brain to rot as soon as he says it. He couldn’t stop thinking about how sick with it Dongwoo had been for a while there. The phrase ‘time and place’ carves itself into Woohyun’s eyelids. “You don’t have to answer that. Sorry,” he hastens to add.

Sungkyu laughs, shocking Woohyun into doing so himself. “He’s okay, I guess,” he says when they eventually quiet.

Woohyun smiles knowingly. “I see through you, Kyu.”

He lets him sit in his thoughts for a while, tracing the path of a raindrop down the passenger-side window. The car is cold, their breath coming out in misty puffs.

“Ah, really! Of all people it had to be you,” Sungkyu bursts, tone whiny in a way that Woohyun would usually tease him for.

Woohyun snorts when Sungkyu slaps the steering wheel with his palms in his annoyance. Wriggling in his seat and sitting on his hands to keep them warm, he lets him huff without mockery.

“Oh my fucking god,” he starts, voice quiet and deadly. “He was your first. You were so smug back then! Oh god—the mental image.”

“Well don’t picture it!”

“I’m trying not to!” He yells, shaking his head to rid himself from unwelcome flashes of a nightmare. Why were brains like that? Always making you think about the worst things unbidden. 

Woohyun laughs, unable to stop himself. Soon, Sungkyu is laughing too. Woohyun isn’t good at talking, he tries his best, but it’s more Sungyeol’s thing. But he’s good at actions—so he reaches over and shoves Sungkyu’s arm when he keeps laughing. It’ll be alright.

“Dongwoo has mellowed you out,” Woohyun says.

“Maybe. I’m getting older now, too.”

“Not so much wiser,” he says, thinking of the shit-show in Japan when Sungkyu insisted he and Dongwoo kept their relationship quiet. It’s of course also relevant to Sungkyu’s general existence.

“Not so much,” he concedes, chuckling a little.

He squints at him. “Wow, self-awareness. I’m impressed,” he chirps.

“You’re not forgiven yet, so don’t push it,” he says, glaring but still relaxed.

“Dongwoo will be worried,” he says, suddenly serious.

Sungkyu heaves a sigh and stretches his neck. “I know.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

“Well. A part of me still wants to punch you, I’m yet undecided if I’ll give in or not. Punch you, go get Dongwoo, drive back, and have sex with him on every available surface in my apartment... Then the rest of me wants to go home and crawl under the covers.”

Woohyun rolls his eyes at the first bit. He senses the insecurity in Sungkyu’s tone, only when he’s done speaking, and pats his arm again. He can definitely relate to using humour as a shield. “He loves you a lot.”

“I know. I know,” Sungkyu mumbles. “I get why he didn’t tell me—because he’s an idiot,” he says, all fond and long-suffering. “It stings though.”

“How about I go back to the restaurant, tell him to get over here before you steal his car—and you can make him grovel for a bit before putting the both of you out of your misery?”

“You mean bang in his car?”

“Ugh! No! Stop putting images in my head!” Woohyun protests. He’s certain if he could, he would. Though with how dark it’s getting and the lack of lighting in this parking lot—Nope. Stop, he commands his mind.

Sungkyu laughs at him, enjoying his pain. “I don’t know if that would be a the worst career move of all time, or the best.” The smile fades and he groans. “Every time I look at your face I feel bad.”

He impressively resists from making a joke about how handsome he is. “I know,” he says as if he does. He can imagine. “If you want me to steer clear for a while, I can do that.”

Sungkyu shrugs. “We have practice anyway. There’s no point. But yeah. Maybe just keep the skin-ship to an absolute minimum for a few weeks.”

“Sure,” he agrees easily. “And ramp up the skin-ship with you instead?” It’s a lame joke but the tense atmosphere from earlier makes him desperate to lighten Sungkyu’s mood with their usual banter.

This time it’s Sungkyu rolling his eyes. He opens his mouth to speak, then changes his mind, before saying something Woohyun assumes to be different. “I can’t believe I’m not more mad about this. I’m definitely pissed he didn’t tell me, and even though it’s somewhat irrational I’m beyond mad you went for him—but when Sungyeol said that. I—my chest got so tight. I thought—I don’t know, the worst.” Sungkyu gulps, as if nervous, which doesn’t make sense. “I really love him, Woohyun. It’s finally perfect, and I couldn’t stand the thought of it being ruined.”

“You’re allowed to be mad, Sungkyu. It’s pretty fucked.”

He snorts. “Yes, indeed it is. But I’m sick of looking at your face. Get out the car so I can call my boyfriend and let him make it up to me for being a complete idiot.”

“Sure, sure, I’m going,” Woohyun says sulkily, looking pointedly at the rain to which Sungkyu offers no sympathy at his lack of hood.

He’s opens the car door and braves the elements. He’s relived, unbelievably glad that he won’t have to look at Dongwoo self-efface himself for messing things up. He’s only a human, and the image of someone as sweet as Dongwoo looking even slightly depressed makes the blood in his heart feel uncomfortably hot. Like he needs to make it all better immediately.

He bumps into Dongwoo on his way back to the restaurant, who yells a quick sorry at him and continues in the direction of the car park. He doubts he even recognised him. The idiot isn’t even wearing his coat, shirt already looking soaked from the rain. Or maybe it’s a tactile move on his part to distract Sungkyu from why he’s mad. You can never tell when it comes to Dongwoo.

Sungyeol is still inside, and Woohyun greets him by shaking his wet hair in his direction which earns him a punch to the shoulder. Woohyun hugs him even though it kinda hurt.

“I feel so bad,” Sungyeol says into his shoulder. “Dongwoo’s eyes got all teary and I felt like the physical manifestation of an ashtray.”

Knowing things are gonna be okay, Woohyun lets himself be pleased at the fact Sungyeol can joke about it, considering how much it hurt him when Woohyun told him all that time ago. He squeezes the other man before letting him pull away from their embrace.

“It’s okay. I spoke with Sungkyu. I’m gonna stay out of their way for a bit outside of Infinite stuff, which is fair, but he seemed calmer by the time I left. You think you feel bad? I wanted to punch myself in the face when I saw him in Dongwoo’s car staring at the steering wheel.”

“Ugh, don’t say that. I can picture the thing his eyebrows do when he’s trying not to cry.”

“He would’ve found out eventually, anyway. Maybe it was a good thing, since I was here? So I could explain it. Dongwoo wouldn’t have stood up for himself at all,” Woohyun says, too familiar with Dongwoo’s old cycle of beating himself up.

“Maybe. Why do I still feel shitty?”

“Because the joke itself was horrific? ‘Sundae sausage’, I mean really. I thought you were better than that.”

“I’m really not,” Sungyeol says, smiling the smile he shows Woohyun only.

They sit down, Woohyun’s hand finding his drink again. “Yep, you’re not,” he grins, leaning forward for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed x


End file.
